Miss Manners: Our yacht club sponsors seem to consider us an ‘improvement project’
- Published: Feb. 28, 2024, 8:00 p.m.
Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, answers a question about how to handle snobby yacht club sponsors. Canva
- Judith Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband’s old boss and his wife invited us to join a local yacht club. Ever since we joined, the wife has been bubbling with snippy comments about my grooming and hairstyle, alluding to where I may have purchased my clothing, and making numerous misguided class-oriented statements.
She seems to have brought me into the club as a target, like a clay pigeon. In their eyes, we were good enough to be nominated and sponsored, but now that we’re in, I’m considered an “improvement project” by these elders.
I have tried to generously assume the differences are generational (80s vs. 50s) or cultural (I’m not alcoholic, but the sponsors are markedly so).
She’s made the club a lot less fun by biting my ankles. My husband insists the chiding will go away in time. I see no end to my sponsor’s backhanded comments, though, and no longer find the scene so charming.
Is there a way to trim my sponsor’s snippy commentary without reminding her that alcohol makes her a poor host?
GENTLE READER: Let’s also avoid telling her that alcoholism is a “cultural difference.”
The problem is actually not one of culture or generation -- you have a problem of rank. The husband was your husband’s boss, and they were your sponsors at the club. Both incline you to be not just deferential, but grateful.
Miss Manners does not believe that the wife’s rudeness cancels out past kindnesses, but you are now equals -- as members and adults. You should not feel obliged to spend time with them if it is a burden.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com ; to her email, [email protected] ; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Latest Advice Columns
- Dear Abby: The man of my dreams is about to retire ... what do I do before it’s too late?
- Dear Annie: My daughter is neglecting her son to appease her new husband
- Hints from Heloise: Saving soap slivers, cleaning burned pots and more
- Miss Manners: I’m newly sober, must I still bring a bottle of wine when I’ve been invited to dine?
- Marsha Warfield’s birthday astrology and your horoscope for March 5, 2024
If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.
Miss Manners: Yacht club sponsor keeps making backhanded comments
Dear Miss Manners: My husband’s old boss and his wife invited us to join a local yacht club. Ever since we joined, the wife has been bubbling with snippy comments about my grooming and hairstyle, alluding to where I may have purchased my clothing, and making numerous misguided class-oriented statements.
She seems to have brought me into the club as a target, like a clay pigeon. In their eyes, we were good enough to be nominated and sponsored, but now that we’re in, I’m considered an “improvement project” by these elders. I have tried to generously assume the differences are generational (80s vs. 50s) or cultural (I’m not alcoholic, but the sponsors are markedly so).
She’s made the club a lot less fun by biting my ankles. My husband insists the chiding will go away in time. I see no end to my sponsor’s backhanded comments, though, and no longer find the scene so charming. Is there a way to trim my sponsor’s snippy commentary without reminding her that alcohol makes her a poor host?
Let’s also avoid telling her that alcoholism is a “cultural difference.”
The problem is actually not one of culture or generation — you have a problem of rank. The husband was your husband’s boss, and they were your sponsors at the club. Both incline you to be not just deferential, but grateful. Miss Manners does not believe that the wife’s rudeness cancels out past kindnesses, but you are now equals — as members and adults. You should not feel obliged to spend time with them if it is a burden.
Dear Miss Manners: My son is getting married next year to a lovely person with whom I have a good relationship. They are currently perusing venues, although they are unsure how many guests they will invite. Would it be poor manners to send them a possible guest list for my son’s side, with tiers of importance — such as aunts/uncles, then cousins, and so on — so they can see what they’re in for if they move to the next tier?
My husband says they should just invite whom they feel closest to, but I see a problem with that — for example, if they choose three cousins but not all five. My heart tells me it is their wedding and they can do what they want, but I’m not sure I can deal with the fallout of hurt feelings for the next 20 years if they decide to be choosy.
To whom did your husband offer his advice? If it was only meant for you — as a way of saying that the time for parental advice has passed — Miss Manners must disagree with him.
If it was meant for your son, then we instead disagree on what constitutes good parental advice. Your son should be warned, if he does not already know, that you will not be the only one who has to listen to 20 years of hurt feelings if he distributes invitations capriciously. As to ranking the relatives, this is best done verbally; if such a list were to be written down and inadvertently forwarded, 20 years would be a light sentence for the resulting storm.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice . You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com . You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
© 2024 Judith Martin
More from Advice
Ask Sahaj: My mom lied to me for a year about having cancer
Meghan Leahy: How do I stop my child from being so rude to me?
Carolyn Hax: A love life on one coast, a loved life on the other
Ask Amy: Teen girl is spiraling about her lack of relationship experience
Miss Manners: Adding a chair for a fancy birthday shindig
COMMENTS
Joker Yachting Club offers you incomparable floating accommodation and gives you the opportunity to choose from many cruises. Our hosting experience gives you the chance to live by the sea, without leaving the port, based in the cosmopolitan island Hydra. Choose a day or multiday route to a destination of your choice or cruise. Enjoy both tranquility and excitement in beautiful Greece and feel ...
Why Choose Joker Yachting Club? We have offered luxury yacht chartering services for over 26 years, you can trust us to provide the best. Luxury Cabins. Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space.
Based in the cosmopolitan Island of Ydra, one of the most popular and majestic spots of Argosaronikos Bay, Jocker is a 21 meter super Yacht ready to offer you and your guests an unparalleled vacation experience.
Joker Yachting Club, Hydra, Greece. 691 likes · 34 were here. Joker is a 22m mega yacht, based on Hydra Island, which promises the ultimate vacation experience. With 4 luxury staterooms, Joker can...
A true Mediterranean cruiser with fantastic flybridge space and forward deck areas. Based in the cosmopolitan Island of Ydra, one of the most popular and majestic spots of Argosaronikos Bay, Jocker is a 21 meter super Yacht ready to offer you and your guests an unparalleled vacation experience. In addition to a crew cabin, the vessel offers ...
Joker Yachting Club wishes to offer you an incomparable hosting experience, based in the cosmopolitan island Hydra. Available as a floating accommodation gives you the opportunity to live by the sea, without leaving the port. We wait for you onboard. ... Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large ...
428 Followers, 522 Following, 12 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Joker Yachting Club (@jokeryachtingclub) 428 Followers, 522 Following, 12 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Joker Yachting Club (@jokeryachtingclub) Something went wrong. There's an issue and the page could not be loaded. ...
Miss Manners: Our yacht club sponsors seem to consider us an 'improvement project' Published: Feb. 28, 2024, 8:00 p.m. Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, answers a question about how to ...
Joker is based in Hydra and is ready to cruise to islands and beaches of your choice. The yacht layout features 3 cabins (1 Master, 1 VIP, 1 twin cabin) and accommodates 6 guests. All cabins have en-suite bathroom and shower. The main salon offers a spacious seating lounge with sofas and coffee tables. Exterior deck provides plenty of space.
Ocean City Yacht Club 100 Bay Road Ocean City, NJ 08103 ***AGENDA*** I. ROLL CALL II. SUNSHINE LAW ANNOUNCEMENT (OPEN PUBLIC MEETINGS LAW) III. MINUTES OF OCTOBER 2023 MEETING IV. UNFINISHED BUSINESS Update regarding Vessel Transactions with the Motor Vehicle Commission (12:7-34.45 Change of address of Owner; status of vessel).
Joker, a private luxurious yacht, makes daily cruises to Saronic Gulf having as a starting point Hydra Island. His luxurious interior and spacious exterior create a floating place of relaxation! Our yacht disposes 4 cabins with en suite amenities (1Master, 1 VIP, 2 twin cabins), a fully equipped kitchen and a large living room.
Dear Miss Manners: My husband's old boss and his wife invited us to join a local yacht club.Ever since we joined, the wife has been bubbling with snippy comments about my grooming and hairstyle ...
Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space.
Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space.
Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space.
Choose from a wide selection of boats ranging from luxury motor yachts to classic sailing yachts, we have every type of boat available to meet your needs. ... Berths: 10; Price: $20,000 / Week; About Us. Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing ...
Floating Accommodation. Based in the cosmopolitan island Hydra, Joker wishes to offer you an incomparable hosting experience. Available as a floating accommodation gives you the opportunity to live by the sea, without leaving the port, as long as the yacht remains anchored during your overnight staying.
Hydra - Port +306988585191 / +302105719977; Mon - Sunday 8.00 - 23:00; Like Us On Facebook; Follow Us On Instagram; Online Booking
Overall a great yacht trip, my only gripe would be there was water everywhere, me and my wife got absolutely soaked which wasn't something we planned for. ... Page 1 of 2 1 2 » About Us. Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views ...
Here's something a little different to consider for your next holiday stay on Hydra. Floating accommodation on board 'Joker' the luxury cruise boat permanently moored in Hydra harbour for the summer season. A great alternative stay if you fancy something a bit different from a more conventional landlocked place!
Joker's lavish interior and generous exterior make our yacht ideal for hosting events. Numerous of events are possible to be hosted on board. Share your ideal with us ad we will create a tailormade package to fit your needs. Anchored in the open sea or moored by the dock Joker wishes to offer you a dazzling experience. The options are endless!
Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space.
To create a yacht sales/charter category page, please go to "Pages > Add New", select the "Yacht Charter Page" or "Yacht Sales Page" element in Visual Composer, and enter your category slug in the "Category" field. About Us. Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft ...
Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space.
Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space. Menu
Joker is an amazing yacht. The layout of the boat is the main attraction with a very large aft cabin giving a raised aft cockpit providing heighten views and great deck space. Menu